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#CoughDidItFirst

October 4, 2017

A Batman/Catwoman Cat-Tales/DC Comics Infographic

Everyone is excited about Bruce’s proposal in Batman 24 and Selina’s answer hitting the comic shops today in Batman 32.  As HQ for what I’m fairly sure is the longest-running Batman/Catwoman series on the web, we here at Cat-Tales are also quite spectacularly excited…   Though it should be noted while others are exclaiming “It’s about damn time,” Cat-Tales readers (and its creator) are more apt to be heard murmuring “Well yes, of course, but… what took you so long?”

Infographic-DC-Comics-CatTales-Batman-Catwoman-Timeline

 

If you’d like to share but don’t like the long, narrow format, there is a landscape version. Enjoy.

Infographic DC-Comics-CatTales-Batman-Catwoman-Timeline (wide)

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The Secret Life of Crime Chocolate

October 9, 2017

Pure Nacional Cacao, the thought-be-extinct chocolate we saw in NMK Inc is, as most of you know, a real thing.  Though associated with Ecuador, the trees that it turned out were still with us were found in the Marañón River Canyon of Peru, and it’s Peru that cultivated new trees from that precious stock to produce Fortunato No 4. While this stuff is pricey, $20-40 a bar when I was researching NMK, it’s not absurdly, catastrophically expensive like, say, the $1000 sundae at Serendipity 3.

I mention this because CNBC has a video on it… sorta.

The 'crime chocolate' from Cat-Tales NMK Inc is a real thing

“The thing is—and I really hope you’ll see the funny here—the fact is, Bruce, these are sort of… crime chocolates.” – Selina Kyle, NMK Inc.

Ecuador seems to have got its hands on enough trees for a small crop, and we can assume they either paid more than they can ever recoup, or they assume being the original source of Nacional Cacao, they can hike up the price for the added cache.

Their chocolate, according to CNBC, goes for $345 a bite. (Note the lack of a decimal?) For “a little under 2 ounces” that comes to $6.16/a gram. In contrast, two bite-size “ingots” of Fortunato No 4 from Patricia’s Chocolate in Michigan goes for… $3.80. (See the decimal?) That comes out to $0.24 /gram.

So enjoy the vid, but be aware if tasting this stuff is on your bucket list, there’s a world full of chocolatiers listed on the Marañón website where ethically sourced Fortunato No 4 can be had for the price of a cheese slice at Grimaldi’s.

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New Chapter Drops Pearl Part 6: East End

October 6, 2017

Over in the Gotham Post, Batman scribe Tom King has said Bruce’s reaction to Selina’s answer will be… to do something illegal.

This is getting weird.

Anyway, in Cat-Tales: Pearl Bruce and Selina’s wedding gift to each other is one Thomas Pearl, a new criminal cover for him to inhabit a la Matches Malone (except that he’s nothing like Matches Malone.)   No rough edges here, Tommy is the criminal Bruce would have become if he’d gone that way, and he’s targeting Luthor’s money men.  There was no way we were going to get through this tale without going to a Caribbean tax haven…

Caribbean Tax Havens

The East End of Grand Cayman, or as Selina puts it “Everyone’s second favorite Caribbean tax haven”… What? What other East End did you imagine we might be talking about?

Pearl Part 6: East End on the main Cat-Tales website and mobile-friendly mirror Cat-Tales.mobi

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Inside the mind of Bruce Wayne in Cat-Tales: Pearl

August 15, 2017

“As soon as I feel that click of understanding, the box inside my mind unlocks and I begin integrating whatever I’ve learned into everything else I know. As soon as I feel the click…
– Bruce Wayne, Pearl

bruce-wayne-trains

“Written like someone with a true respect for the martial arts.”

Even though he’s not learning any martial art in Cat-Tales: Pearl (he’s learning to be a cat burglar!), the story has attracted attention for taking us inside the mind of Bruce Wayne, the white belt – Bruce Wayne the student and illuminating an aspect of his expertise in the martial arts in an entirely new way.

The current chapter “Click” drops today at the main Cat-Tales website and mobile-friendly mirror Cat-Tales.mobi

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Namascray: Tom King Gets Real on a Batman-Catwoman Marriage

July 24, 2017

“I’m married to the best woman who ever lived, and she guides me through everything.  She sees how messed up I am, and she loves that part of [me].  And I see how messed up she is, and I love that part of her.  Because of that, we can live together and be happy.  So I think that’s how it would work.” -Tom King, Tom King explains what a Batman-Catwoman marriage would look like, Los Angeles Times

Marry Me - Batman Proposes to Catwoman

“Marry me”

I haven’t said anything about Tom King’s Batman run (despite an impressive number of inquiries,) because—I’m sorry, this is no secret—DC has given us no reason to trust anything they do with Catwoman. (Or with Batman.) (Or and most especially with Bat and Cat together.) Nothing that’s happened in recent weeks changes that.

But I will say this about the above quote: it demonstrates the only mature, intelligent, real take I’ve seen on a Bruce-Selina relationship that, well, I didn’t have to write myself.  And quite frankly, it’s the most mature, intelligent, real take on any relationship I’ve heard from a DC writer in any medium.  It describes a real, human connection—a real partnership—between adults who care about each other.  Namascray, as the meme says, the crazy in me recognizes and honors the crazy in you.  Our crazy fits, so together we’re something more than we are separately, and together we tackle what life throws our way.*

I love my readers, but I remember a hella-disconnect when Bruce proposed in Wayne Rises.  As y’all might remember, he wasn’t as smooth as his Batman 24 counterpart.  He botched it on a truly epic scale.  When life went on a chapter later, I started getting comments bewildered that they were still together, that Selina was still living at the manor and, despite understandable tensions, everyone was still capable of civility and even affection.  There were people who passionately wanted the marriage yet expected the relationship to be over because he messed up.

That made me wonder what they thought this marriage they wanted was.  Because husbands and wives mess up, a lot.  We’ve all got that cray-cray, and when you say “I do,” you’re agreeing to work through whatever comes along.  If a silly thing like his particular brand of screwy producing an utterly awful proposal is a deal-breaker, well, you’re not ready to marry anybody.  When his particular brand of screwy makes you want to  smack him in the head and just—Argh! Jackass!—but you still love him in spite of  because of the thing that makes you want to smack him… that’s your husband.

Mrs. King is a lucky woman.

No joke, Tom gets that and Mrs. King is a lucky woman.  That doesn’t necessarily mean Batman readers are.  See above, Charlie Brown, DC has done nothing in the last 30 years let alone the last 30 days to make you run at that football again.  King, however, has done a bit to establish that if it’s going to be done, he’s got the human toolbox (which has zero overlap with comics/continuity sensibilities btw) to do it well.

Once upon a time, DC’s Powers that Be made some absurd proclamations about their characters being in permanent, happy relationships.  As now, a lot of people were messaging me for a response, so much so that I finally replied with a rather curt announcement that if I had any opinion on DC’s collective grasp (of marriage and the effect it would have on a character like Bruce) you would have heard at least one song from Company by now.

Tom King, this is for you.


*If you want realism in your fiction, that’s how you get it.  Not making the Batmobile into a tank, not doing insanely violent things while quipping like a ’90s action hero.  By starting your answer about a Batman-Catwoman marriage with your own.

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HAHAHAHA! Jokes and Riddles Week Begins

June 26, 2017

“HAHAHAHAHA!”
It was my instant messenger.  Riddler set this system up for the “villain community” to keep in touch.

There they are, in the very first lines of the first Cat-Tale. Before Batman or Catwoman were even mentioned, Joker and Riddler had planted their flag.  We’re excited to see how many Jokes and Riddles goodies we can pack in to a single week, and who will come out the content king.  This morning, Joker started off the festivities with a bang…

Joker with a bang flag, by Selina Enriquez in the Cat-Tales Gallery

Surprise Joker by Selina Enriquez

Yet no sooner was that posted, we saw HarryPotter20 was trending.  The 20th Anniversary of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, we could hardly ignore an omen like that–not when we had observed Batman’s 75th Anniversary with a Gotham Rogue-Harry Potter mashup.  So we promptly dug out the Mashupimus Ridiculus and re-mashed for the occasion…


The complete Rogues Gallery collection can be found here.

Finally, we rounded off Day One with a quote from Edward Nigma: Another City Not My Own aka Riddle Me-Tropolis

riddle-me-tropolis-withquote

Thus far, the combatants are neck and neck and there’s been a surprising lack of bloodshed.  Will it hold?  Stay tuned.

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“Maybe we’re entangled particles” Celebrating Couples that Are Meant To Be in the Cat-Tales Gallery

June 25, 2017

“Marry me.”  With those two words on the last panel of Batman 24, Tom King electrified social media as even non-niche publications like USA Today and The Daily Beast carried the story: Batman had at long last proposed to Catwoman.  Most comic shops reported the issue was sold out before it officially went on sale, guaranteeing a second printing which was released last Wednesday.

Cat-Tales, whose Bruce Wayne had delivered that same two-word proposal in Wayne Rises, wanted to salute the occasion and produced a new work reproducing the image with our own characters for the Cat-Tales gallery.*

Marry Me - Batman Proposes to Catwoman

“Marry me”

A Long Time Coming: Batman’s Proposal to Catwoman Makes It Official: This Is DC Comics’ Greatest Relationship proclaimed The Daily Beast, whose Ira Madison III began by quoting Selina in Batman Returns “I would love to live with you in your castle… forever, just like in a fairy tale.”

Batman Returns: Kiss by Romano Molenaar

“Selina… Catwoman is the reason why Tim Burton’s 1992 masterpiece works so well. “

And Cat-Tales is thrilled to announce two pieces by the incomparable Romano Molenaar:  The finished Batman Returns: Kiss seen above, and Catnip, the penciled version that first caught our eye.

In a stunningly romantic touch, King has Bruce propose with the diamond ring Selina tried to steal at their first meeting back in Batman #1. While she wasn’t wearing her classic Golden Age threads at that encounter (she was in disguise, after all,) we know it is the spirit of that true, original Catwoman that captured his heart on day one. Thus, we present DC’s Power Couple by Elena Casagrande:

Batman and Catwoman: Power Couple by Elena Casagrande for Blastoff Comics

Batman and Catwoman: Power Couple by Elena Casagrande

Golden age, Bronze Age, the Batmania of the 1960s, Elseworld after Elseworld and Era after Era, it is always Bruce and Selina.  That was the message in String Theory, where the universal constant is the crucial element unraveling a cosmic crisis.

Bruce and Selina in the batcave "Maybe we're entangled particles"

“Maybe we’re entangled quantum particles”

Tom King’s story continues in The War of Jokes and Riddles, and while we at Cat-Tales do not read the Gotham Post, we will be observing it with Jokes and Riddles Week. 

Riddler and Game Theory at the Iceberg Lounge

Riddler and Game Theory at the Iceberg Lounge

Bruce and Selina may be DC Comics’s ultimate Power Couple, they may be the entangled particles that are meant to be, but they aren’t the only soulmates in Gotham. The lady who began her career as Cognitive Dissonance has certainly won Eddie’s heart and it’s high time she took her rightful place in the gallery.

Jokes and Riddles Week begins Monday, June 26.

*Please note that Chris has received multiple requests for “Marry Me” to be released in the full array of wallpaper sizes and ratios, but it is only available in the one size at this time. Making the full slate of wallpapers is a huge undertaking and if we pursue it, may be weeks or months before anything ready.

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