Posts Tagged ‘superman’

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Breaking News: Batman/Superman Tale Concludes

March 30, 2016

joker-intersectLex Luthor built an AI housed in a supercomputer-intersect to control the world’s news. Now, it’s in Joker’s hands.  Have a nice day.

The story concludes in Knight of the Mirrors 8: Breaking News.

 

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New Knight of the Mirrors Chapter Drops: Part 7 Opening Ceremonies

January 19, 2016

The newest installment of the Batman and Superman tale Knight of the Mirrors drops today…

rio-olympic-stadium_zps2pohbwn2

What are Lex Luthor’s plans for the Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro? And can the World’s Finest Heroes figure it out in time?

Knight of the Mirrors Part 7 is on the Cat-Tales website and mobile-friendly mirror Cat-Tales.mobi.

 

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The Divided City

November 18, 2015

What people are saying about the story so far:

knight-of-the-mirrors-review-01.jpg

I love how Batman is, for all his rage and uncompromising attitude, also the most level headed, the most calm, and the most patient hero there is.

Are the World’s Finest Heroes facing Luthor, Demon or both? The investigation that began at Gotham’s “A Man’s Reach” exhibit expands to both sides of The Divided City – but will it uncover the plot in time? The new installment is here! Knight of the Mirrors Part 6 ‬ – The Divided City

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More

August 4, 2015

It’s updates, updates, updates at Cat-Tales right now.

batman as don quixote de la mancha or vice versa

The new story, Knight of the Mirrors has finally begun.  Teased last week with a brief prologue that featured Bruce and Selina returning from a case on Wayne One, the story finally begins in earnest with Chapter 1: What Kind of Day Has It Been? on the Cat-Tales website and mobile-friendly mirror Cat-Tales.mobi.

We also had a new artwork: Ivy’s Holiday, debuted last week which was promised to be the first of several new updates.  Well, they’re here!  Beginning with Anya Uribe’s “The Babe and the Bold” heading of a number of new additions in Featured Artist and a pair of domestic scenes featuring the cats.

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Knight of the Mirrors

July 29, 2015
Batman and Superman in The Knight of the Mirrors

‘Make it thy business to know thyself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world.’ ~Don Quixote

The cover, title and prologue have dropped on what promises to be an eventful Batman/Superman outing.  Whether the World’s Finest or Versus isn’t quite clear from he cover.

The Knight of the Mirrors on the main Cat-Tales Website and mobile-friendly mirror Cat-Tales.mobi.

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Not a Twinkie

October 1, 2013

Man of Steel screenwriter Davis S. Goyer took advantage of the lull before a new Bat-trilogy Blu-ray (new packaging or something) to remind us all that Superman kills now.   The notion that he wouldn’t is “a rule that exists outside of the narrative.”

Let’s cross the street where they’re not quite so confused, shall we?  A couple weeks ago, a friend sent me this great trailer for Lego Marvel Superheroes.  I’m not a Marvel, I’ve never particularly clicked with their characters, but watching this just makes me feel good:

I think it’s the same reason I enjoy the Marvel movies.  It’s so unabashedly enthusiastic about being a superhero vehicle.

DR. DOOM:
Dr. Doom’s Doom-Ray of Doom

ORCHESTRAL HORNS:
BWOMG-BWOMMBWOMMM

This clip is fearless about standing center stage and bellowing out what it is.  Superheroes in Legos, the bad guys versus the good guys.  Nobody here is running away from it.  Nobody is ashamed of it or afraid of being silly.  Nobody is pretending this is serious fucking business.

Isn’t that refreshing?  I don’t think anything with Batman that I’ve seen in a decade has made me feel as good as this 2:05 of characters I don’t give a crap about.

As I was sitting there, fingers poised over my keyboard trying to find a way to express that succinctly in order to share the video on Facebook, I found myself looking at a Twinkie.

not-at-twinkie

Facebook being Facebook, I found myself looking at a Twinkie

Maybe it was the history of those old time Hostess ads in comic books, when the heroes distracted the villains with delicious cakes and fruit pies.  Maybe it’s the fact that Twinkies were out of production for a while there and their return was announced right after Man of Steel, prompting more than a few comments that if they’d only come back sooner, Zod could have been handled the old-fashioned way and all that destruction porn could have been avoided.

Whatever the chain of associations, it led to an analogy that can explain the divide in superhero comics and movies.  I find food analogies cut through so much faux intellectual B.S.  You can convince otherwise intelligent people of a lot of absolute nonsense using phrases like “a rule that exists outside of the narrative,” until you apply the principles to something they understand on such a basic level as food.  Maybe you don’t know why the Miller apologist is wrong, maybe you don’t know how to construct the counterargument, but once you get that applying those principles amounts to serving bleu cheese and chopped liver on a Triscuit for Christmas dinner, you do know that is a really bad idea.  Whether you can articulate the reason or not, you’re gagging.  You know there has to be something very, very wrong in any chain of the logic that ends in this being a tolerable plan.  You know you’re not going to serve it to your kids, no matter what argument it makes or how big its advertising budget.  It’s a part of our make-up they haven’t broken: if it makes you wretch, don’t eat it.

So, back to the Twinkie.  Is there anybody reading this who doesn’t know what they are?  Sweet yellow cake with a white, sweet cream filling that may or may not be vanilla-ish flavored.  It’s a kid’s food, most of us ate them and remember them fondly.  There were knock-offs and generics.  There are also some very prestigious restaurants that have made a gourmet version.  (Think champagne cake with a filling of blancmange infused with vanilla and cognac) and less prestigious ones serving up the traditional twink deep-fried, a substance so orgasmically sweet and rich it became an analogy for… well never mind. They’re good.

Now here’s the thing, if none of that sounds good to you, then you don’t like Twinkies.  It’s okay, none of us are judging you.  For most humans, sweet is the first set of taste buds to develop.  We go for it and it’s nature’s way of telling us: eat the berry not the bark.  But if for whatever reason you don’t like sweets, then you don’t like Twinkies.

Superheroes, like Twinkies, are certain things.  They’re fun.  There is humor and color and life in their stories.  Even when there’s angst and horror, it gets broken up with a little f-ing fun.  Burton knew it.  Schumacher absolutely knew it.  He made the worst goddamn Twinkie any of us have ever seen, but it WAS a Twinkie.

Print comics have succeeded in convincing what politicians call “the base” that Twinkies don’t have to be sweet, they don’t have to be made of cake or have cream filling, and it is just so silly and childish and stunted to imagine they do.   And, as in politics, ideas that go beyond ‘completely wrong’ into the land of 2+2 = cream cheese nonsensical can be accepted inside these little bubbles of true believers, but they run into trouble when they come out here into the real world where reality is in play.   That’s why they have those names.

Is this just math that you do as a Republican to make yourself feel better or is this real?

Is this just math that you do as a Republican to make yourself feel better or is this real?

The DC movies have been serving up pickled coffee beans and calling them Twinkies.  They’re not, and those of you who cannot let an un-Nolan thought (or an un-Miller thought or an un-gogglewhore thought) pass without comment are not going to argue it into being one.  You like the pickled coffee beans, we get that.  Some of us do too on occasion.   I like bitter and I like sour from time to time.  But not in a Twinkie.  Those things are not Twinkies, no matter what it says on the box or how big a name the director is, how big the advertising budget is, or how you choose to belittle those who refuse to validate your delusion.

Originally published as Not a Twinkie on Blogger

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Spotlight – World’s Finest: Red Cape, Big City

November 29, 2012

This one tops a lot of Favorite lists, especially the Favorite Comedies.

And why not?  The back story involves the Roxy-Ivy catfight from a previous tale – a catfight that took place in the middle of the Iceberg Lounge, in front of TV cameras – and not surprisingly became the #1 download on Kazaa, and the editing project for hundreds of teenage boys whose efforts went on to set download records of their own.

The Roxy-Ivy Catfight from An Iceberg Tale

The Roxy-Ivy Catfight from An Iceberg Tale

As the star of this humiliating internet sensation, Poison Ivy is less than thrilled.  Her efforts to fix the situation coincide with Clark Kent’s visit to Gotham to finalize a publishing deal.  Along with Lois.  And oh yes, he really thinks it’s time Bruce and Selina tie the knot.

Add in Miriam Nash, practicing witch and proprietor of the finest covert magick shop north of New Orleans, an underworld goddess with two faces, and a city full of gargoyles who could really do without Batman’s grapnel slicing into their tender parts every time he swings from building to building…

“Goodnight, Kitten.”

“Goodnight, my Dark…”

Something was wrong.  I felt a cold shiver.  I didn’t know what at first.  Something was just… wrong.  I thought of Azrael for some reason, the Imposter, in that cowl, pretending he was Batman.  It was that same sick feeling, a crazy kind of panic sparking deep beneath the surface, ready to erupt any second but held in check for the moment by the cold shiver getting colder by the minute.

My fingers were so cold… against the warmth of Bruce’s chest… and then the realization came, right underneath those cold fingertips, I knew what was wrong.

“When did these heal?” I whispered.  “Bruce, the scars on your chest…”  Four parallel scratches. Mine.  They’ve been there for years.  Now suddenly—

I’ve never been afraid of him.  Not of Batman and certainly not of Bruce.  But at that moment, I couldn’t even know if this was Bruce.  He got out of bed in icy silence, walked into the bathroom and turned on the light.  I only saw a bit of color reflected in the mirror, flesh tone, blur of movement, more flesh tone.  Then he came back.  With the additional light from the bathroom I could see at once, the scars were all gone.  His chest, legs, back… all completely unscathed.

Oh yeah, did I mention the magick runestone?  I’d say we’ve got us the makin’s.

You can read World’s Finest: Red Cape, Big City online on the Cat-Tales website or download it to go as an ebook or in high-quality pdf for printing.

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Spotlight: Riddle Me-Tropolis

November 14, 2012

 

So… This happened.   Comic Book Geeks of the Internet – and particularly She-Geeks Lacking Complexity – galvanized yesterday to demonstrate how fast we can stage a Social Media Happening / Spontaneous Demonstration / Party.   Now it’s 24 hours later, and as much fun as “Cosplay Appreciation Day” was, and as many uber-cool comic book people we all may have waved at or connected with, the last thing I want to do today is dive back into the gallery and spotlight another picture.  I think we can all do with a palate cleanser, and since it is Cat-Tales and not Catwoman-Pictures-R-Us, I thought I’d focus on the actual stories for a while.

First in the spotlight, because it’s one of my personal favorites and top of the Best Comedies list picked by readers, is Cat-Tale #51 Riddle Me-Tropolis.

Cat-Tales Riddle Me-Tropolis by Chris Dee

Cat-Tales Riddle Me-Tropolis by Chris Dee

What’s it about?  After working out Batman’s identity in Strange Bedfellows, Edward Nigma became what we in CT circles call “Fate’s Bitch.”  He couldn’t seem to catch a break, and after Batman broke his legs in the previous tale, he decided he’d had enough.  Enough Batman, enough Gotham, enough disappointment, enough bullshit, enough all of it.  He was getting his act together and taking it on the road–to Metropolis!

In the Cat-Tales universe, Metropolis is Chicago, the largest and richest city close to farm country, with a history embodying the kind of can-do optimism of early industrial America that is a perfect fit for Superman and Clark alike.  I had a ball making Metropolis a character in this story as much as Gotham is in regular tales, and playing with the wonderful dynamic of Gothamites like Eddie, Bruce and Selina in another city not their own.

You can read Cat-Tales: Riddle Me-Tropolis online on the Cat-Tales website or download it to go as an ebook or in high-quality pdf for printing.

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Still Looking Back at Year 8: Kitty Ex Machina

September 22, 2011

Catwoman-Cat Tales: Lex Luthor teams up with Catwoman (or that's what he thinks) in the Superman/Batman Tale War of the Poses
“Okay. Look, boys, if what you’re after in this world is validation of your bad girl identity after a marathon fuck-over by a sleazy tabloid, then cooking up something with Lex Luthor that leaves Batman and Superman speechless is the motherlode. And I’m sure I’d be enjoying it a lot more if I knew what the hell it is. What’s so special about this three companies that Luthor being after their files turns you two into the World’s Palest?”
-Catwoman, War of the Poses

The Justice League in Cat-Tales:  War of the Poses Plastic Man didn't get the memo that it wasn't a good time to tease Batman about CatwomanWar of the Poses might just be the richest Cat-Tale in the series.  First, there’s Luthor.  In Cat-Tales as in the DCU, Lex Luthor’s ultimate ambition was fulfilled: he became President of the United States.  And in Cat-Tales as in the DCU, it ended… badly.  He lost the office, his fortune, and for a time back during the Infinite Crisis of String Theory, his sanity.  But in WoP, he was back and he had a plan.  It was a really good plan too.  That’s the kicker.  A Gotham-Metropolis alliance like the one that worked so well for Batman and Superman, joining forces with the Big Bad of Gotham City, the Boss of the Gotham Underworld… if only he wasn’t trying to join forces with Batman’s girlfriend.

Catwoman’s first meeting with Luthor is… well, it’s echt Selina and echt Luthor:

You’re an interesting creature,” he said at last. “For one of those who wears—well, why be circumspect—who wears a mask and the costume of a professional wrestler, one hears that you are remarkably sane.”

Catwoman’s lips curled slightly. Not a threatening smile, but hardly a warm one.

“And for one who wears a tie and the costume of an undertaker, one hears you’re remarkably rude, Lex.”

“Touché. My point was merely that I believe one can make a deal with you, Catwoman, and expect you to hold up your end. Not decide at the critical hour to go on a murderous rampage in a jam factory instead.”

“Not unless the jam starts it,” she said brightly. “Seriously, Lex, may I remind you that we have done business before and I was not the one who failed to hold up my end of the bargain?”

It was Luthor’s turn to smile. He did enjoy when a negotiation went according to plan. Catwoman might wear a preposterous outfit, but her thinking was rational and therefore predictable. If one could overlook the cat ears, it was quite like negotiating any other business deal.

“You refer to my declining to pay you for the Lex-Wing job,” he said magnanimously. “I recall the incident, of course. I also recall that you got paid all the same. You had the resourcefulness to get your money. In my view, that means you are entitled to it.”

“Survival of the fittest.”

“Enrichment of the fittest, Catwoman. Mere survival is for wage slaves and spotted owls.”

Catwoman burst out laughing.

“It must’ve been hell for you being president, Lex. ‘Wage slaves and spotted owls?’ This is what built up all those years having to pretend you care?”

Catwoman-Cat-Tales.  Batman and Superman, the World's Finest versus Lex Luthor in War of the PosesWhile fun, particulary Lex hears Selina’s description of his “resignation” as depicted by the Gotham Post:

“Flying out of the Oval Office in a space suit that looked like a Tylenol capsule decked out for Mardi Gras, buzzing Dupont Circle hopped up on venom and challenging Batman to a fist fight”

Things get a lot more interesting once Superman arrives on the scene, and Lex’s plans begin to unfold.  Cat-Tales is seldom as action-driven as the comics, but the Batman/Superman adventure at the World Bank would definitely give the panels a run for their money.  And the Kitty Ex Machina conclusion might just be my favorite Batman/Catwoman exchange in Book 5…

Batman’s tone and manner changed as he tapped the side of his cowl. “OraCom activate. Private channel metro-one-alpha. Do you read?”

“You can’t be serious.  It’s like Luthor stacked the entire table of elements over our heads. Even I can’t tell how much steel, lead, and who knows what is up there but—”

“Private channel metro-one-beta. Do you read? That’s why I installed a special signal booster. Private channel metro-two-alpha…”

“You planned on getting stuck down here?” Superman gaped.

“It was always a possibility.  Private channel metro-three-alpha…”

~~~~~andsom~ ~~~avri~~~~itty~~~~~~ sounded in his earpiece.

“There she is,” Batman noted.  “Lock in metro-three-alpha, shutdown all nonessential operations, enhance signal, all parameters.”

B~~m~an~~~~~ad~me~~~st met with Lex and ~~~~m the works, ke~to decrypt~~~~~lans~~~n hog heaven, it was disgus~~~ng~~~~~~sch an obnoxious troll~~~ ~~~ ~~nwa~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~pected you’d be~~~ack b~~ow.

“We were delayed.  We’re trapped in the vault.”

~~~ault?  th~~~~~one under the –~~~~ank?  Yo~~~ill there?

“Yes.  We’re going to need you to take out the time locks.”

Th~~im~~~ocks?  In Met~~~~olis?  ~~~~~ant me t~~~~~ to Me~~~~li~~~~~~~~~~~~ime locks fo~~

“Either that, or we’re stuck until the bank opens for business on Monday.”

Wel~~~ow suppo~~~~~et there?

“Transport to the Watchtower. J’onn is expecting you.  He’ll send you on to the transport station at the Daily Planet.”

“~~~”

“Selina?”

“~~~”

“Selina?”

~~~~oing~~~~claim villainess privilege and~~~ay no.

But for all that, for ALL THAT, it’s not even the main story that is best remembered from War of the Poses.  It’s a minor subplot, with Batgirl, sweet adorable Cassie, learning some new stealth techniques from Selina and getting just a little carried away trying them out at the museum until, well, I’ll let her explain…

This bad.
This bad.
This bad.

Father would give twenty lashes and lock in dark closet for day. Maybe two day.
Was first principle of sustained surveillance: mind clock. Surveillance is dead time. Must mind clock else lose track of time.
Practicing stealth in museum not like sustained surveillance. Not dead time. But still lose track of time.

This bad.
Was exciting. Lose track of time.
Lights come on.
Guard in uniform gone. New guard in blue blazer jacket take place.

New noise.
Shoes that not quiet on stone floor.
People in shoes that no need be quiet.
People that work in museum.

Museum open. Soon be people everywhere. This bad.

Isn’t she cute?  Deadly as all hell, but really cute.

Anyway, those are some of my favorite bits from War of the Poses.  You can read the complete story and download print and ebook versions from the Cat-Tales website.

Chris Dee
www.catwoman-cattales.com

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The Dark Knight Rises meets Flashpoint

May 21, 2011

(aka The Week Outside of Cat-Tales)

Two big events in Comics Goodness this week*: The Dark Knight Rises started filming in London  and DC Comics launched their latest Crisis/Mega Event Flashpoint.

Now, one of my favorite running gags in the Robert Altman’s movie about movie-making The Player:  Every time we hear a screenwriter pitch a script, they fall back on “It’s X meets Y”  “It’s Out of Africa meets Pretty Woman”

To celebrate The Dark Knight Rises and DC Comics milestones, I submit to you a little something JLAin’t author MyklarCure whipped up at the fantastic Florida F/X school: Dave School.  I like to call it: The Dark Knight meets Flashpoint:

Best. Project. Ever. LOL – We were given a 20 second audio clip to animate. The clip: Christian Bale’s infamous rant on the set of Terminator: Salvation. LANGUAGE WARNING! (Duh).
The instructor said he couldn’t give mine a review during class because he was laughing so hard that he couldn’t concentrate on it. 😉

*3 if you count #thefirerises viral launching thedarkknightrises.com.

Chris Dee
www.catwoman-cattales.com

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