Archive for the ‘cat-tales’ Category


The Lois Lane-Selina Kyle Team-up Readers Have Been Waiting For…

August 8, 2018

Since Knight of the Mirrors, when Bruce and Clark’s case in Rio expanded to include their significant others, there has been an insistent call for the women to team up–and they became more insistent in Batman 36 and 37 when Tom King brought the foursome together for a double date.

The wait is over.  Lois is, of course, a member of the wedding and is in town for her fitting–and Selina’s bachelorette, phase 2.  Will she make it there?  Who knows, but along the way we’ll straighten out many misconceptions about ancient cat gods, the type of friends Selina has, and how women of taste buy a dress.


Catwoman Amateur Night is over, in Cat-Tales: GiftsPart 4: Tattinger in the original Cat-Tales website and the mobile-friendly mirror


Cat-Tales declares “Amateur Night is over” for Catwoman-wannabes who don’t know how to buy a dress.

July 5, 2018

Cat-Tales creator Chris Dee was active Sunday when the New York Times spoiled the much-publicized Batman 50 wedding issue which, paraphrasing Four Weddings and a Funeral, will stand out in memory for not actually including a wedding.

Chris offered a writer’s perspective on the twist, mentioned Cat-Tales record keeping faith with readers, and promised a new portal for those wishing to come into the series.  The actual website launched Monday, but after that, Chris wasn’t active on social media throughout July 4th while the comic was released and reactions played out.

The morning of July 5th, however, Cat-Tales posted thisYou-leveled-up

DC’s Bruce and Selina may not have made it to the altar, but they have closed enough distance with the real Gotham to Level Up.

We’ve been more than patient as Tom King and Joelle Jones served up a creature that doesn’t know how to buy a dress, drink champagne, or choose appropriate friends.  Now it’s time to raise the bar.


Amateur Night is over, and the real Selina, the real Batrimony and the real (God help us) bachelorette party begins in Gifts Part 3: Veuve Cliquot.

Cat-Ta;es 74: Gifts on the main website
and mobile-friendly


h1 launches in response to Batman 50 “Batrimony” Spoilers

July 2, 2018

By now it’s no secret that the New York Times spoiled the events of Batman 50 yesterday. (Stop reading and go away for a few days if you don’t know this.)

Cat-Tales author Chris Dee quickly posted the following message to the “Batcat” community on social media:

and the promised website launched a little over 24 hours later,

Cat-Tales is usually described as fan fiction, though it’s more properly called meta fiction as Chris Dee is no fan of what DC Comics does with the characters it owns. The early stories in particular tend to use the fictional universe as sly subtextual commentary on the way the comics treats heroes, women and other issues.  But those editorials never dominate what is primarily good “between the panels” comedy, drama and romance.

Yes, romance, because the Batman/Catwoman relationship has been the heart of the series since its second installment and our recent #CoughDidItFirst infographic charts a few of the milestones where DC almost seemed to be following Dee’s lead.

With DC failing to follow through on what they so clearly promised creating a wedding album, 30+ variant covers, solicitations that all began “The wedding you never thought you’d see” and countless repetitions of “the Batrimony is real” in their promotional material, Cat-Tales recognizes a lot of very upset readers might be interested in a wedding that will happen for the characters, and more importantly, stories of the marriage that follows.

But how many will want to start with Cat-Tale #1 from 2001, 73 stories and a million words ago?  Some, perhaps.  But for others, some shortcuts have been provided. is offered as an introduction and portal for the new Cat-Tales reader, with reading lists for… well, not every attention span, but there are a number of alternatives for the plodding and for the impatient.


Batman and Catwoman are the property of DC Entertainment. Used without permission and for Fair Use purposes of artistic expression and social commentary relating to the use/misuse of these important social icons.


Bruce and Selina’s Wedding Gifts (It Can Actually Get Worse)

May 4, 2018


If you enjoyed the Intermezzo but have been wondering what Selina saw in the pages of the Gotham Post, great news! That scene appears in the new Cat-Tales: Gifts by Chris Dee and Wanders Nowhere.

You will see Bruce Wayne’s bachelor party.  You will see Selina’s bachelorette.  You will see there are actually worst wedding gifts than Booster Gold’s…  Oh.  So, uh, maybe not great news, more like, eh, news.  News of an indiscriminate nature.

The story begins today on the Cat-Tales website

Cat-Tales 74: Gifts
By Chris Dee and Wanders Nowhere

And the mobile-friendly mirror,



The Dress

April 4, 2018

The last time Selina Kyle was “the most downloaded fully-clothed woman on the Internet” was the first glimpse of Anne Hathaway in The Dark Knight Rises and it prompted a short Cat-Tales intermezzo called I Was Riding a Motorcycle.

Today brings a worthier object which might or might not make it into the next tale:

Cat-Tales Intermezzo: The Dress


It wasn’t an ideal morning to have breakfast on the terrace: it was overcast, a little brisk and the air had a damp, dewy feel that threatened rain later in the day.  Still Selina took her coffee outside.  She was about to do something that wanted distance from her morning routine. She was about to do something… stupid.  And the mind-splittingly stupid thing must not be ushered into her life with an unrestrained open-armed welcome as if this is simply the way it was going to be now.

“Okay,” she announced, looking suspiciously at the open expanse of table beside her coffee cup.  There was a centerpiece—samian ware, she thought absently as she moved it—and then she repeated “Okay” as she regarded the now totally bare tabletop apart from her coffee cup.  “Let’s do this,” she said, and sat.  She took a very deliberate sip of coffee. The sun crept out from behind the clouds and bathed the patio in a warming glow—and she shot it a nasty look like its hopeful imagery was not welcome.  There was even a bird chirping that she hadn’t noticed before, and she scanned the now idyllic setting with the simmering contempt of a wet cat.  “This is why we don’t do mornings around here,” she grumbled.

“Alright, let’s get this massive mistake over with,” she said, extracting the folded newspaper seemingly from nowhere as she had every night on the stage of the Hijinx Playhouse to segue into her monologue’s triumphant conclusion at the end of Act I.

“I’m sure you all saw this,” was the line, but instead of holding up the despised tabloid for the audience to see the glaring headline, she laid the Gotham Post on the table and looked down on the glossy image. Instead of a bloody Jim Gordon lying sprawled in the foreground, there was nothing but Venetian lace and rich ivory peau de soie from the Viaduc des Arts showroom of Malhia Kent, Avenue Daumesnil, Paris.  Instead of receding into a blurred image that was supposedly her running away from a shooting, the folds of elegant fabric receded into a blurred image that was supposedly her in the Deeor atelier pinned in for her first fitting.  Instead of a second coming headline screaming OFFICER DOWN, a comparatively restrained SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW teased the first glimpse of Selina Kyle’s wedding gown.  Shot by some mysterious means through the 57th Street window, it had the usual Gotham Post embellishments (black lace, for the love of Bast) but compared to the paper’s previous slanders, sketchy taste in a bridal palette could only be called progress.

She was really going to do this.

She was really going to do this.

She was really going to open the Gotham Post sans mind control and read what they were saying about her.

“Do it quick, like ripping off a Band-Aid,” she said and did just that.

She breathed.

Deeor hadn’t sold her out—thank God.

They got the materials right but that really wasn’t surprising.  Shipments from Jesurum on Calle Larga XXII Marzo a few blocks west of Piazza San Marco and Malhia on Avenue Daumesnil coming to the boutique could only be for the Wayne dress.  They didn’t know why and that meant her secret was still hers to tell Bruce and the world in her own way and at her own time.

Making a tweezers with her outstretched fingers, she carefully picked up the very corner of the page as if to touch as little as possible as she turned.  Since she’d gone this far, buying and reading a Gotham Post, she may as well press on.

Alfred was in the dining room.  It wasn’t his usual day to dust there, but he knew Miss Selina had varied her routine.  Seeing that she was up early and had settled far from the intercoms in her suite and the morning room, he thought it best to be within earshot should she require anything.

“Sweet merciful god!” rang out from the terrace.


The tale of Bruce and Selina’s wedding will continue at


It’s #CatwomanWeek and Bruce and Selina’s March Down the Aisle Begins in the latest Cat-Tale

March 16, 2018

According to DC Comics, Selina Kyle’s birthday is March 14 and the internet marked the occasion with a #CatwomanWeek hashtag that’s celebrated her iconic costume, favorite quotes, comics and of course her defining relationship…

Cat-Tales marked the day by dropping its latest installment The Engagement Party, a one chapter one shot which officially begins Bruce and Selina’s march down the aisle.

This is really happening, Bruce and Selina's march down the aisle begins in Cat-Tales 73: The Engagement party

This is really happening, Bruce and Selina’s march down the aisle begins in Cat-Tales 73: The Engagement party

As readers know, Cat-Tales blazed the trail for Bruce and Selina’s relationship moving beyond the trope, but Bruce proposed way back in Wayne Rises–as in 2012–and they hadn’t made much progress down the aisle.  That changed last year when Tom King had Bruce pop the question right there in the flagship comic of the franchise: Batman #24, and a few weeks ago, DC set the date.  July 4th 2018 DC’s Bruce and Selina are tying the knot.  Possibly it’s a race.  Possibly it’s a competition.  Possibly…

Possibly Batcat fans are in for a very full summer.

Cat-Tales 73: The Engagement Party is posted for online reading on the main Cat-Tales website and mobile-friendly  Ebook and pdf will be available shortly.



Batman Becomes a Cat Burglar to Rival Catwoman Herself in Cat-Tales: Pearl

February 17, 2018

The Cat-Tales: Pearl ebook is now here for Kindle and in the universal epub format for all readers and devices, along with print-quality PDF.  Free download as always on the story page on the main Cat-Tales website.*
The World’s Greatest Detective marrying the World’s Greatest Thief. There are only a few ways this story could go. All of them involve a heist.

*Note: all Cat-Tales are available for reading on the web on a mobile-friendly mirror site: however downloads are not available, only a special link for iPhone/Safari-users. Pearl is the last Cat-Tale that will have this special link on the mobi site.

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