Posts Tagged ‘batman fan fiction’


NMK Inc. A History

October 9, 2013

 NMK Inc. A History

Long before it was a Cat-Tale, it was a corporate entity with a myriad of crimefighting uses.  Chris Dee provides a quick review of the company and it’s many incarnations since it’s creation in Book 5: Not My Kink.


Flash the Bat-Signal, Jim Gordon is back in Cat-Tales

October 8, 2013
Catwoman depicting shooting Commissioner Gordon on the cover of The Gotham Post

Cat-Tales began with this whopper in The Gotham Post

I’m often asked what I would do differently if I was starting Cat-Tales today. I tell them honestly: Not much, but the big difference is that James Gordon would be police commissioner.   Cat-Tales began when he had resigned after being shot in the ill-conceived Officer Down storyline, an event that was instrumental to getting that Runaway Snowball of WTFTM rolling that sparked A Girl’s Gotta Protect Her Reputation in the first place.

It was right for the time.  It was right for the Catwoman story being told, and it was right for the meta commentary on DC Comics that is the series’s raison d’etre.   But it’s not quite right for an ongoing Batman series.  For years, I’ve planted my flag on the principle that stories have certain elements that are not negotiable, and where Batman is concerned Jim Gordon is one of them.  That’s his chair.

He has been present in the series, as Barbara’s father and retired commissioner.  It’s been wonderful, because the decision and his status as a retiree brought a depth to his relationship with Bruce.  Still, I’ve missed him on that roof.  Four stories ago in The Gotham Rogues the first clue dropped:

The man who had served as police commissioner since Jim Gordon retired wanted Batman to know he was being vetted for a Presidential Appointment to the Department of Justice… In all probability, Gotham would have a new police commissioner by the end of the year.

From the beginning, Commissioner Muskelli was established as a political animal.  The change was easy to set in motion, and with so much drama in that tale, I trusted that the significance would be missed, or if noticed it would be quickly forgotten.  Things have developed slowly, through Wayne Rises and Inside an Enigma.  Now, at last, in the new story that begins today, Jim Gordon is back on the job.


Jim Gordon is back. When he resigned, Catwoman was an anonymous cat burglar. Now she’s Selina Kyle, living with Bruce Wayne, and running this company that’s messing with Ra’s al Ghul. There might be a learning curve.


Can you hear me now? Cat-Tales Audio Books

September 11, 2013

Back when Cat-Tales started its original website, having a Flash splash screen was pretty spiff.  I recorded a few lines that seemed “Signature Catwoman” from Selina’s monologue in A Girl’s Gotta Protect Her Reputation and set it against some visual or other.  Ever since, I’ll get a request about twice a year to read complete tales as audio books – or at least “Please please please” some favorite bit, be it Selina’s stage show performace or the origin story Cattitude, the first person passages from String Theory, etc.  Everyone has their own favorites.


Wait til you hear her Harley Quinn

It was always an appealing idea but a little too daunting for me personally.  Then I met Caroline Sharp, a wonderfully talented actress who was not only a Cat-Tales reader, she had an instinctive feel for the fun and good humor that is the core of a proper Selina and the Cat-Tales universe generally.    (Seriously, if you think her Selina is spot on, wait ’til you hear her Harley Quinn.)


Cat-Tales #1: A Girl’s Gotta Protect Her Reputation now an audio book.

The goal is to present one or two short stories from each of the collections, starting with Book One.  There was no question that we would have to begin with the first tale: A Girl’s Gotta Protect Her Reputationthe impetus for the series.

In 2001, what DC Comics called its new direction obliterated everything that identified Catwoman except her name.

From Selina’s iconic purple costume to her supporting cast, her personality, intelligence, sophistication and lifestyle, her status as a world-class thief and the tone and content of her adventures, everything that drew fans to the character in the first place was gone.

The Nostalgia Critic recently speculated what the fictional characters of Avatar: The Last Airbender would think if they were real and saw the unspeakably awful  portrayals in the M. Night Shyamalan fiasco.  Reputation does something similar, presenting the DC Comics outrages as the work of a sleazy tabloid called The Gotham Post.  The stage show in which she responds wound up opening a door into this real Gotham.  If the comics didn’t present the real story, the real characters, then who were were these people, really?

Picking a second tale was more of a challenge.  The early tales were essentially an in-joke for a niche audience, loaded with comics references, nods to and inversions of related fan fiction clichés and tropes of the time.  Could I find a story that stood alone, gave a glimpse of the fun to be had for people who simply like Batman without reading or caring about the dysfunctional freak show in official comics?

anyouhearmenow-cattalesaudiobooks-funandgamesI could!  Fun & Games was first introduced with the old Monty Python line “And now for something completely different” and allowed readers to get deep into the first scene without realizing it was a continuation of the series begun with Reputation.

Today, I introduce it this way – Catwoman is a fantasy. Either you get that or you don’t, and if you do, you should probably realize that whatever you’ve dreamed up in your imagination, Bruce has imagined quite a bit better.

Once they got together, you don’t think our kinky pair took a few of those ideas out for a spin?

Cat-Tales audio books, like all offerings, are available for free on the CT website.  Listen online or download to your portable player.


Catwoman v. Riddler – Inside an Enigma 6

July 24, 2013

Quite early in Cat-Tales: Book 1 something happened which was long overdue in Wayne Manor, a house with 80+ rooms and therefore 80+ doors which was also the home of a man with a secret identity and therefore telling a lot of lies.  Farce!  I know superhero comics and Batman in particular has been asphyxiating on the dark & gritty for 30 years, but even so, superhero comics were around for decades before that.  It’s hard to believe we stumbled into such camp before uncovering a comedy staple like farce.

Which actually has nothing to do with Inside an Enigma 6, but that farcical episode did include the following line:

“Bruce has had this coming for a long, long time.”

And that’s what’s been echoing my head in releasing this chapter, because something else has been coming for a long time.  Catwoman v. Riddler.  Selina v. Eddie.  He’s had his moments of being a stand-up guy since learning Bruce’s secret (and hence Selina’s secret that Catwoman was romantically involved with Batman after all) way back in Cat-Tales: Strange Bedfellows.  He’s had more moments of being petty, manipulative, and an insufferable dick.  The tensions have built, shifted, friendships were tested,  mended and tested again.  Now, Selina’s had enough.

catwomanvriddler-insideanenigma6Hello, Eddie.  I won’t insult your intelligence by explaining the obvious… Riddle me this, riddle me that.  Expect to get scratched if you screw with a cat.
-S. Kyle, Inside an Enigma 6: Sawdust



Hyena Tales

April 1, 2013

Celebrating 12 Years | 67 Tales | 2 Hyenas

Greetings, Internet!

All right-thinking Gotham-watchers among you will be thrilled to learn that the Batman-centric twaddle formerly residing at has been purged and the moving story of two hyenas finding love in the domicile of a misbegotten clown has taken its place.


2 hyenas | The clown they love | The bat they hate | The ditzy blonde who walks them

You’ll thrill to the bone-chilling roller coaster of a semi-literate sociopath mixing metaphors and mutilating infinitives to bring you the most rip-roaringest hyena porn seen, heard or smelt since Agnes McGillicutty turned that Twillo fanfic into the global bestseller 50 Shades of Grayson.


In a world gone mad, in a Ha-Hacienda without central heating, 2hyenas find love. And Silly Putty

You’ll cheer as the stupid blonde forgets to pay the electric bill, forcing the hyenas to cling to each other for warmth (even as they secretly plot to eat each other when the kibble runs out!)


You can’t spell ‘slaughter’ without LAUGHTER. Something to think about.

You’ll weep, weep openly like the little girl you are when you read the disclaimer that no hyenas, bats, or even people were harmed in the making of this website.  WHY?  WHY couldn’t we sacrifice even a few fluffy kittens or pimply-faced fanboys to give the whole thing some realism?  Why am I plagued with such a sqeamish and tiny little minds.  You all disgust me.  Go away.

Uh, Cat-Tales website and Chris Dee’s Cat-Tales blog appear to have been hacked by Joker for April Fool’s Day.  We hope to have everything back to normal as soon as we get him back in his cage.


A New Cat Tale Begins – Inside an Enigma

March 27, 2013

Cat-Tales has never “ripped from the headlines” like some aggressive police procedural. We creep in, blending with the shadows, deftly snipping a wire there, nullifying the sensors with a wave cancellation box over there, and spiriting it away before anyone knows what’s happened.
Batman’s enemies in Arkham and Ra’s al Ghul rotting in an Atlantis jail. Gotham should be quiet. And a quiet Gotham is a paradox wrapped in a puzzlement inside a mystery encased in a riddle surrounded by…

Chapter 1: Diamonds are for Stealing on the Cat-Tales website and mobile-friendly mirror


Happy Anniversary, Cat-Tales

March 8, 2013

It was March 8, 2001 when Chris Dee posted Chapter 1 of Cat-Tales 1: A Girl’s Gotta Protect Her Reputation.  Today, the popular Bataman series celebrates its 12th Anniversary by cutting the ribbon on the new Fan Gallery on the Cat-Tales website.


“If you haven’t seen it (or haven’t been paying attention while I squee about it), we have new categories for Character Portraits, Sculpture, and even cosplay. If you HAVE seen the new gallery, you haven’t seen the new pieces – more from old favorites like Remidar and Anya Uribe, a brand new artist Shisa Ai making her debut on the Cat-Tales gallery with an exhibit of Catwoman: Black & White.”
–Chris Dee

As an added treat, the website has updated an old Ask Catwoman feature for the occasion, finally answering a question about the most-asked about topic: Selina’s cats Whiskers and Nutmeg.

Ask Catwoman

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