Those Wonderful Toys

A chess set fashioned after the Gotham Rogues, undoubtedly a creation of The Z.  Riddler used it as a snappy little prop/conversation starter for a sitdown with Batman in (fittingly) The Gotham Rogues when Joker, Poison Ivy, Clayface and the others were his weapons in the war with the Gotham mobs.

The Chessboard from The Gotham Rogues now on display in the Cat-Tales Virtual Visitor Center

“Interesting choice. Most people would have made him the king.”
“Most people are idiots,” Riddler observed. “King is not only the weakest piece on the board, he’s the most predictable. Moves one square, can’t put himself in check, and because he’s so gosh-darn important, he doesn’t move at all until there are no options left. Bishop, on the other hand, can wreak havoc just by existing. Move the pawn sitting in front of him, it’s a whole new game board.”
Behind Batman’s mask, Bruce looked up sharply. It was a shockingly brilliant analysis.
“Diagonal moves,” Batman noted. “Psychologically more erratic, amidst the squares and straight lines of the board.”
Eddie shook his head, dissatisfied with the idea.
“No, to play that game, the most psychologically irrational movement is the knight’s… I didn’t want to do that. You were going to see it. That seemed… needlessly rude.”

Too tantalizing to retire, it showed up again in Inside an Enigma, and now it’s back again – this time on display in the Cat-Tales Virtual Visitor Center in Second Life.

Also on display, a Catarang.  In Not My Kink Catwoman takes over Batman’s patrol while Bruce recovers from an injury (in Armchair Detective).  By Week 5, she’s earned a little gift.

I never realized he made the first batarangs himself. I’ve used Kittlemeier from day one for my things. But this, he made it himself.

Such a sweet scene. Of course the deceptively idyllic moment couldn’t last, but that year the chapter that was “a short and sweet taste of life in the Batcave” made a Christmas present for readers who hadn’t had a holiday tale for quite some time.

Both items are on display for a limited time Virtual Visitor Center.

Flash the Bat-Signal, Jim Gordon is back in Cat-Tales

Cat-Tales began with this whopper in The Gotham Post

I’m often asked what I would do differently if I was starting Cat-Tales today. I tell them honestly: Not much, but the big difference is that James Gordon would be police commissioner.   Cat-Tales began when he had resigned after being shot in the ill-conceived Officer Down storyline, an event that was instrumental to getting that Runaway Snowball of WTF^TM rolling that sparked A Girl’s Gotta Protect Her Reputation in the first place.

It was right for the time.  It was right for the Catwoman story being told, and it was right for the meta commentary on DC Comics that is the series’s raison d’etre.   But it’s not quite right for an ongoing Batman series.  For years, I’ve planted my flag on the principle that stories have certain elements that are not negotiable, and where Batman is concerned Jim Gordon is one of them.  That’s his chair.

He has been present in the series, as Barbara’s father and retired commissioner.  It’s been wonderful, because the decision and his status as a retiree brought a depth to his relationship with Bruce.  Still, I’ve missed him on that roof.  Four stories ago in The Gotham Rogues the first clue dropped:

The man who had served as police commissioner since Jim Gordon retired wanted Batman to know he was being vetted for a Presidential Appointment to the Department of Justice… In all probability, Gotham would have a new police commissioner by the end of the year.

From the beginning, Commissioner Muskelli was established as a political animal.  The change was easy to set in motion, and with so much drama in that tale, I trusted that the significance would be missed, or if noticed it would be quickly forgotten.  Things have developed slowly, through Wayne Rises and Inside an Enigma.  Now, at last, in the new story that begins today, Jim Gordon is back on the job.

Jim Gordon is back. When he resigned, Catwoman was an anonymous cat burglar. Now she’s Selina Kyle, living with Bruce Wayne, and running this company that’s messing with Ra’s al Ghul. There might be a learning curve.

National Hairball Awareness Day (Gallery Spotlight: Whiskers & Nutmeg)

Nothing makes you question the time you spend on social media like logging in to Twitter and learning it is National Hairball Awareness Day.  But hey, I’m the one who opted to go into the glamorous world of Catwoman fan fiction and I’m the one who let these two onto the page without stopping to consider that it’s the internet and cats rule.  They’re the most popular original characters in the series, and I have to keep the real stars of Cat-Tales happy, so…

Whiskers and Nutmeg want to know who’s not wearing the ribbon and why.

To commemorate this important day, I thought we’d do a Gallery Spotlight of those pictures featuring the little pests darlings.

Catwoman: Tuna Kisses by Shisa Ai

Probably the sexiest Catwoman in the gallery that doesn’t include Bruce or Batman, and I’m spotlighting it for the cats!
And…

Selina Sulking in the Cat Lair

This scene is one of the earliest efforts from Poser artist TM and is inspired by Times Gone By

A New Cat Tale Begins – Inside an Enigma

Cat-Tales has never “ripped from the headlines” like some aggressive police procedural. We creep in, blending with the shadows, deftly snipping a wire there, nullifying the sensors with a wave cancellation box over there, and spiriting it away before anyone knows what’s happened.

Batman’s enemies in Arkham and Ra’s al Ghul rotting in an Atlantis jail. Gotham should be quiet. And a quiet Gotham is a paradox wrapped in a puzzlement inside a mystery encased in a riddle surrounded by…

Chapter 1: Diamonds are for Stealing on the Cat-Tales website and mobile-friendly mirror Cat-Tales.mobi

Happy Anniversary, Cat-Tales

It was March 8, 2001 when Chris Dee posted Chapter 1 of Cat-Tales 1: A Girl’s Gotta Protect Her Reputation.  Today, the popular Bataman series celebrates its 12th Anniversary by cutting the ribbon on the new Fan Gallery on the Cat-Tales website.

“If you haven’t seen it (or haven’t been paying attention while I squee about it), we have new categories for Character Portraits, Sculpture, and even cosplay. If you HAVE seen the new gallery, you haven’t seen the new pieces – more from old favorites like Remidar and Anya Uribe, a brand new artist Shisa Ai making her debut on the Cat-Tales gallery with an exhibit of Catwoman: Black & White.”
–Chris Dee

As an added treat, the website has updated an old Ask Catwoman feature for the occasion, finally answering a question about the most-asked about topic: Selina’s cats Whiskers and Nutmeg.

Wayne Rises Chapter 5: Interlude at the Bathroom Mirror

I could have dropped a hint or two that the new chapter was almost ready, particularly when I posted such a stunner of a Bruce/Selina pic this morning, seeing that it is their civilian lives which are the focus of the current tale’s intrigue.  But I decided to let it be a surprise.  And so, without warning…

The cat burglar has struck again –during the third ball of the Wayne Foundation Elemental Fete, just as everyone feared. The Water Ball was followed by a third daring robbery, and that’s not even the worst of it as Gregorian Falstaff is ready to make his move… in Wayne Rises Part 5: Interlude at the Bathroom Mirror

 

Gallery Spotlight: Mrs. Wayne

Mrs. Wayne
the second of two pieces featuring the infamous yellow ruffles bridesmaid’s dress by Remidar

What’s a girl to do when all of Gotham high society is calling her Mrs. Wayne?  Grab the nearest bottle of champagne, the nearest sympathetic ear, and start drinking heavily.

It began with Martin’s distracted misstatement to Dinah: “Mrs. Wayne” …Overheard by Mrs. Wigglesworth, who then saw Dinah point to Selina…
“Dancing with the groom” …Mrs. Wigglesworth told Mrs. Ashton-Larraby she’d already heard talk of who’s next, mouthing the words “Mrs. Wayne” and pointing, as Dinah had, towards Selina. …Mrs. Ashton-Larraby said at last her lips were unsealed! She’d known for months, but didn’t want to spread idle gossip. Mrs. Ashton-Larraby told Mrs. Helbrook, who told Mrs. Ford, overheard by Mr. Upton…. Mr. Upton told Mr. Drake, who told his wife, who told Mrs. Fox…

By the time Selina returned to her seat, there were four separate accounts of the engagement being circulated. Hearing one of these, Aunt Kate sought out Selina to offer her congratulations. –Dearly Beloved

Teaser: Uma Thurman

A studio apartment with a picture of Uma Thurman, an Orlandini bracelet, a bowl from Atlantis, funky nail polish, an Oscar de la Renta gown, a headline about a cat burglar, and a DVD of Castle…

What in the name of all things feline and furry does this stuff have in common?

It’s the teaser for the upcoming chapter of Wayne Rises: Uma Thurman.  Stay tuned

Resolutions

Not really.  That sounds way too formal, and more than a little binding.  In short, not feline.  But it is a new year, and there is nothing like a round number and days getting longer to give us all a nudge.  Time to turn over a new leaf and start doing all those things we should be doing.

Psychologically, it seems right.  Ironically, it probably isn’t a very good time.  Statistically, January is a month of depression setting in, and there’s a point in about 3 weeks where suicides spike.  I vaguely remember an analysis of it:  holiday bills come in, the high of new year hopes we feel now settles back into routine, tax documents start coming in the mail, and it’s still COLD.  The days are still short, the wind chill is still -3 degrees, and we know that it’s not going to be any better tomorrow.  Add it all together: moods plummet.  No wonder everybody goes off their resolution diet in a sugar-burning frenzy.  January sucks.

Mr. Joker had some “unrealistic expectations” about Silly Putty.

Maybe the key is not to expect so much.  It’s still winter, those bills are going to come in, and we do all have to pay our taxes.   It’s not a NEW WORLD.  But it is a new year, and maybe we do approach our resolutions with a little more rationality and a little less emotion, we’ll have a better chance of sticking with them after the chain starts to pull.

So, my Resolutions-aren’t-feline-but-if-there’s-time-I’ll-try for the online world:  this blog.  Writing the actual stories are still the first priority for my CT time, but  will make every effort to sneak in here to crank out one update per week.

Beginning right now.  The holidays seem to break us down into two groups:  those with all the time in the world to kill after that last final, and those of us who need you to please-pretty-please stir the custard for the trifle, just for two minutes while we run to the ATM for some crisp bills for the doorman’s envelope—and while we’re out get a half dozen of those chocolate macaroon things for last minute thank yous—and oh yeah, find that youtube that showed how to make those curled ribbon decorations—better say five minutes.  Or, eh, ten, because I used up the last of the pickled ginger, too, so since I’m out…

I fall into the latter category, so as you probably guessed, not a lot of writing gets done over the holidays.  (Not a lot of email gets answered, either.  If you’re waiting, don’t worry, I’ll be through the backlog by Valentine’s Day, I’m sure.)

As it happens, I did finish a draft of the final chapter(s) of Do No Harm before the holiday crazy descended, so if my beta-brainstorm buddy comes through, it won’t be too long before we see an update there.  I say an update rather than a conclusion because I haven’t decided for sure if it will be presented as one chapter or two.

While there is usually all kinds of extra busywork backstage when I’m going into a final chapter, I do have a head start in this case, since I had a title and a cover on deck for the “next” story when I was finishing up Demon’s in the Details, a next story that is not DNH.  The faux-flashback clip show was a last minute decision.  So, unless I change my mind again (always possible, but not likely in this case), the next title/cover is all ready.

Chris Dee
www.catwoman-cattales.com
cattales.yuku.com
cattales.wikispaces.com

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